Integrity and Managing Addictive Behaviors
We taught institute in both Ashington and Gateshead this week-- we had a record breaking attendance of 19 students in Ashington.
Agency is a divine gift from Heavenly Father. The adversary wants to distract us and limit our ability to make good choices. One way he does this is through addictions. Someone can become addicted to many different types of behaviors or substances.
Integrity is the foundational principle to the managing addictive behaviors message. We loved Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's quote on integrity:
“Integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. … A little lying, a little cheating, or taking a little unfair advantage are not acceptable to the Lord. … The consummate reward of integrity is the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. … When we do what is right, he can dwell with us and guide us in all we do” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Personal Integrity,” Ensign, May 1990, 30, 32–33).
Although the recovery process can be difficult, the scriptures give hope that “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Below are some general principles that can assist us, with the Lord’s help, to recover from an addictive behavior or habit.
- Pray for help. You can always ask God for His help. He is there and will answer your prayer.
- Find hope. Know that the Savior can heal you as you do your part.
- Be honest. Addiction gains power in secrecy, but it is weakened with honesty.
- Connect with others. Connection can fill needs that addiction often offsets.
- Make a plan. Prayerfully consider changes you need to make, avoid difficult situations, and learn from your mistakes. Think about Moroni and the many layers of protection against the Lamanites he had his people build (see Alma 49).
- Be accountable. Ask for help from someone you trust, make a follow-up plan together with your trusted person, and regularly review your progress.
- Get support. You don’t have to do this alone. Speak with your family, bishop, leaders, or friends.
- Remember that you are a child of God. Don’t define yourself by your addiction. Have compassion for yourself and others.
- Don’t give up. Even if you slip up, no effort is wasted. It takes time to heal. Be patient with yourself.
In case you missed this post from Kristin Yee, we share it here:
Sometimes when challenges come or are looming, we want to do everything we can to prevent them, stop them, or just end them now. If you're like me, you maybe want to try and control how it will go and what will happen to you or those you care about.
As I talked about a looming challenge with a dear friend, she said it's almost like you see a massive tsunami wave coming and you frantically try to put up your two rows of sandbags to prevent it. As she said this, the thought came to my mind, "Don't stop the wave; ride it." We have another heaven-sent option: we can ride that wave with His help. I felt relief in that impression-realizing that many hard experiences that come were not meant to be stopped but to be ridden with the help of our Savior.
To me, riding that wave means trusting in God and being faithfully vulnerable to His timing, love, and wisdom day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. He knows what is before you, He knows how to help you, and He will not forsake you. He will give you what you need in the moment you need it. He will show you how to pass through the impossible with His power and provide you with the peace that you so desperately need.
I thought of the Jaredites who, after preparing what they could, "[commended] themselves unto the Lord their God" (Ether 6:4) as their boats set sail through the great deep. And so we, too, can do our best to commend our journeys to Him. And let the waves come, knowing that the Master of ocean, earth, and skies will help us ride these waves with His divine power, support, and unfailing wisdom and love.
Lindisfarne (Holy Island)
We visited Lindisfarne this week with Elder and Sister Kryzminski who teach at the institute in York. Lindisfarne is a small town on an island (also called Holy Island) that is only accessible via a causeway when the tide is low. It was the cradle of Christianity in northern England. St. Aidan, a monk from Iona -- an island monastery off the coast of Scotland-- founded the first monastery on Holy Island in 635. At that time the kingdom of Northumbria was the most powerful in Anglo-Saxon England.
Cuthbert, who became Lindisfarne's greatest saint, arrived on the island as "Prior" in the 670s. Shortly after his death in 687 the island became an important place of pilgrimage. In about 700 the Lindisfarne Gospels, the finest illustrated manuscript to survive from Anglo-Saxon England was created on the island.
Viking raids, recorded from 793, eventually forced the monks to flee in the late ninth century. Nearly 250 years later a religious community from Durham Cathedral came to Holy Isalnd and built a new priory, which remained in religious use until 1537, the ruins of this building can be seen today. The stones from the priory were used to build the Lindisfarne Castle in 1550 when it became apparent that a defensive position against the Scots was needed.
On the island, we meet a resident artist who taught us how to weave.
Richard Betteridge and Cateryn Eternally Joined (Sealed) after 486 Years
Our stake president's mother, Sister Jane Gill told us that we were related-- she had seen an Elyn Betteridge, born in 1500, in her ancestry. While looking for a possible connection to Elder Betteridge's ancestry we discovered a Richard Betteridge, Elder Betteridge's 12th great grandfather, born in 1515 only 95 miles from Elyn. This was the furthest back the Betteridge name research had been done on Elder Betteridge's family line. We then discovered that Richard Betteridge had not been sealed to his spouse Cateryn. We quickly made plans to attend the Preston temple and perform this ordinance for them-- 486 years is a long time to wait. As we joined hands across the alter we felt the presence of this couple kneeling by us as this ordinance was performed vicariously for them, there were few dry eyes in the room-- it was an electrifying experience full of emotion. We continue to get confirmation why we were called to this corner of England and to be in the Sunderland stake.
We also had the opportunity to assist the Alnwick branch with their Temple Baptistry appointment.
Imparting the Word to the Amble Group
Today we spoke in the Amble group meeting. Although Amble is part of the Alnwick branch, the 20 or so members that live in this small town do not have transportation to get to the Alnwick chapel on Sundays, a 20-30 minute drive, so President James Perry received permission from President Gill to hold a group meeting to administer the Sacrament for these members once per month. Sister Betteridge shared a message about spiritual nourishment and Elder Betteridge shared a message about preparation.
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