Relationships, How Did We Get Here, Day-in-the-Life, Fiona in England, Another 3rd Cousin Shows Up

 Building Healthy Relationships

Last week we taught about "Building Healthy Relationships" from the Finding Strength in the Lord: Emotional Resilience Manual.  The foundational principle for this topic is "communicate".  This is such an important skill to develop in life.  Many of the challenges we have encountered in our lives have resulted from poor or ineffective communications or were improved with better communications. Our favorite quote this week is from Russell M. Nelson, our modern day prophet.

“Your soul will be blessed as you learn to listen, then listen to learn from children, parents, partners, neighbors, and Church leaders, all of which will heighten capacity to hear counsel from on high” (Russell M. Nelson, “Listen to Learn,” Ensign, May 1991, 24).

As we develop loving relationships with others, our physical, emotional, and spiritual health is strengthened. Heavenly Father wants us to love Him and those around us. Our family and friends love us and can provide the support, encouragement, and honest feedback we need to successfully cope with life’s challenges. The adversary wants to isolate us from others and wants for us to feel deprived of the blessings that come from relationships.

“The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that ‘friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of [our faith]. [Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith (2007), 463]. That thought ought to inspire and motivate all of us because friendship is a fundamental need of our world.  In all of us there is a profound longing for friendship, a deep yearning for the satisfaction and security that close and lasting relationships can give” (Marlin K. Jensen, “Friendship: A Gospel Principle,” Ensign, May 1999, 64).

How Did We End up Here Doing What We are Doing ?

We have had several people ask us, both here in England and at home, "So what do you do on your mission?"  Hopefully we can answer that here.  First, understand that every mission is different, even in the same country, serving the same segment of the population.  Second, a mission is whatever you make it -- you can focus on areas that you feel inspired to focus on even within your specific assignment.  

We were called to serve the Young Single Adults (YSA) in the England Leeds Mission.  Before we received our specific assignment, we were aware of the possibility of three different YSA assignments in the mission.  One was specifically to serve in the Leeds Institute building/program, an established institute with an institute director and a senior couple's apartment in the actual institute building. The other was in the York Institute program, where the institute meets in a stake center, and the senior couple's apartment is across the street.  The third opportunity was in the Sunderland stake, a more geographically distributed stake, with 9 units in 8 buildings across a larger area-- this is where we were assigned.

The Mission Leaders, David and Jayne Clare received specific inspiration that we should serve in the Sunderland stake. When we arrived we reported to the Sunderland Stake President, Jonathan Gill. He was initially planning on having a member of the stake teach institute and have us do an outreach to the YSA or maybe even serve in the Mandarin Branch here, but after the inspiration dust settled, he decided it was best for us to teach institute and work with the stake YSA committee. 

So here we are living in Newcastle Upon Tyne in the Sunderland Stake serving the wonderful young adults in this stake.  When we started we had about 7 institute students attending institute in the Newcastle ward building. We had two Young Single Adult Stake Leaders who were doing their best to organize and plan stake activities.  We began teaching institute in January in the Newcastle building and providing a 'snack' for the students.  

The difficulty with transportation became apparent as we invited other YSA from the stake to attend institute but didn't see any uplift in attendance.  So we worked with the Stake YSA leaders and decided to pick a better location and moved the institute to the Gateshead building on the south side of the stake.  This made it easier for more to attend and has resulted in 15-20 attending each week on Thursday evenings.  

With this success we felt impressed to request to add an institute night for the north side of the stake. Approval was granted and we began also teaching at the Ashington chapel on Wednesday nights in March.  We started with two students and occasionally had one or none. The Ashington group has now grown to 10-15 students with several friends attending with members and missionaries. 

Our primary focus now has evolved to teaching institute on two nights each week; Wednesday night in Ashington and Thursday night in Gateshead.  We provide a warm meal and a dessert on each night.  

We also felt impressed to invite the full-time young missionaries to join us and encouraged them to invite their friends and other young adults in their wards to join us.  This has been a great blessing to the young adults as they have had a wonderful opportunity to rub shoulders with the missionaries and has increased their awareness of the blessings of missions.   In the last 5 years there had not been any missionaries leave from this stake (primarily because of COVID).  But this year we have seen 4 missionaries go out from the Sunderland stake and several existing young adults are now considering missionary service.  The missionaries have had a wonderful influence on the young adults in the stake and now frequently invite young adult friends and returning members to institute.

Tea (dinner) with Norm and Jayne Johnson.

A Day In The Life of Elder and Sister Betteridge

This daily schedule covers most of our days but keep in mind we do not have a requirement to follow the schedule the young missionaries follow. Each day can be quite a bit different based on the needs we face. 

 

06:30 - 07:30 am	Awake, Review Come Follow Me, Review Messages Received During Night
07:30 - 09:00 am	Exercise, Breakfast and Get Ready
09:00 - 10:00 am	Study Scriptures Together and Plan Day
10:00 - 01:00 pm	Shopping / Prepare Institute Lesson / Food Prep / Flat Inspections / Zone Conference / District Council / Attend Church on Sunday / Transport Missionaries on Transfer Day
01:00 - 02:30 pm	Lunch / Rest
02:30 - 05:30 pm	Final Food and Lesson Prep / Visit Local Historical Site Once per Week / Prepare Talks / Blog and Journal Time
05:30 - 09:30 pm	Teach Institute / Dinner Invites / Open House / Interface with Leaders & Students / Calls Home / Mission Council

Our Flat (apartment) and Car

Trying to Stay Fit

Shopping, Hauling, Cooking and Preparing

District Council at our Flat

Treat Bags for Elders/Sisters (Provided after Flat Inspections)

Fun Visit from Fiona Mudgett

A Surprise - 3rd Cousin of Sister Betteridge Serving in Our Mission

As we were doing flat inspections this last week, one of the sisters said let's run the Relatives Around me App.  To our surprise we discovered that a sister, who had just been transferred into our zone, Sister Kendal Victor from Saint George, is Heather's 3rd cousin through her Jolley line.  Notice how they both wear their purses the same -- truly a relative!

Be Charitable

“Whatever problems your family is facing, whatever you must do to solve them, the beginning and the end of the solution is charity, the pure love of Christ. Without this love, even seemingly perfect families struggle. With it, even families with great challenges succeed” (Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “In Praise of Those Who Save,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2016, 80).

We strive to shine the pure love of Christ around us in everything we do.  We serve Him because we love Him and want to express our love to Him in every way we can.  He has rescued us from sin, from sorrow, from afflictions and from our own imperfections.  We witness that He lives and loves each one of us.  Through His gifts to us we can experience the greatest joy possible. Thank you dear Father for sending your Only Begotten Son to redeem us.    

Integrity, Addictive Behaviors, Tsunami, Holy Island, A 486th Wedding Anniversary, Sticky Testimony

Integrity and Managing Addictive Behaviors

We taught institute in both Ashington and Gateshead this week-- we had a record breaking attendance of 19 students in Ashington.  

Agency is a divine gift from Heavenly Father. The adversary wants to distract us and limit our ability to make good choices. One way he does this is through addictions. Someone can become addicted to many different types of behaviors or substances. 

Integrity is the foundational principle to the managing addictive behaviors message. We loved Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's quote on integrity:

“Integrity means always doing what is right and good, regardless of the immediate consequences. It means being righteous from the very depth of our soul, not only in our actions but, more importantly, in our thoughts and in our hearts. … A little lying, a little cheating, or taking a little unfair advantage are not acceptable to the Lord. … The consummate reward of integrity is the constant companionship of the Holy Ghost. … When we do what is right, he can dwell with us and guide us in all we do” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Personal Integrity,” Ensign, May 1990, 30, 32–33).

Although the recovery process can be difficult, the scriptures give hope that “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me” (Philippians 4:13). Below are some general principles that can assist us, with the Lord’s help, to recover from an addictive behavior or habit.

• Pray for help. You can always ask God for His help. He is there and will answer your prayer.
• Find hope. Know that the Savior can heal you as you do your part.
• Be honest. Addiction gains power in secrecy, but it is weakened with honesty.
• Connect with others. Connection can fill needs that addiction often offsets.
• Make a plan. Prayerfully consider changes you need to make, avoid difficult situations, and learn from your mistakes. Think about Moroni and the many layers of protection against the Lamanites he had his people build (see Alma 49).
• Be accountable. Ask for help from someone you trust, make a follow-up plan together with your trusted person, and regularly review your progress.
• Get support. You don’t have to do this alone. Speak with your family, bishop, leaders, or friends.
• Remember that you are a child of God. Don’t define yourself by your addiction. Have compassion for yourself and others.
• Don’t give up. Even if you slip up, no effort is wasted. It takes time to heal. Be patient with yourself.

In case you missed this post from Kristin Yee, we share it here:

Sometimes when challenges come or are looming, we want to do everything we can to prevent them, stop them, or just end them now. If you're like me, you maybe want to try and control how it will go and what will happen to you or those you care about.

As I talked about a looming challenge with a dear friend, she said it's almost like you see a massive tsunami wave coming and you frantically try to put up your two rows of sandbags to prevent it. As she said this, the thought came to my mind, "Don't stop the wave; ride it." We have another heaven-sent option: we can ride that wave with His help. I felt relief in that impression-realizing that many hard experiences that come were not meant to be stopped but to be ridden with the help of our Savior.

To me, riding that wave means trusting in God and being faithfully vulnerable to His timing, love, and wisdom day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. He knows what is before you, He knows how to help you, and He will not forsake you. He will give you what you need in the moment you need it. He will show you how to pass through the impossible with His power and provide you with the peace that you so desperately need.

I thought of the Jaredites who, after preparing what they could, "[commended] themselves unto the Lord their God" (Ether 6:4) as their boats set sail through the great deep. And so we, too, can do our best to commend our journeys to Him. And let the waves come, knowing that the Master of ocean, earth, and skies will help us ride these waves with His divine power, support, and unfailing wisdom and love.

Lindisfarne (Holy Island)

We visited Lindisfarne this week with Elder and Sister Kryzminski who teach at the institute in York. Lindisfarne is a small town on an island (also called Holy Island) that is only accessible via a causeway when the tide is low.  It was the cradle of Christianity in northern England.  St. Aidan, a monk from Iona -- an island monastery off the coast of Scotland-- founded the first monastery on Holy Island in 635.  At that time the kingdom of Northumbria was the most powerful in Anglo-Saxon England.  

Cuthbert, who became Lindisfarne's greatest saint, arrived on the island as "Prior" in the 670s.  Shortly after his death in 687 the island became an important place of pilgrimage.  In about 700 the Lindisfarne Gospels, the finest illustrated manuscript to survive from Anglo-Saxon England was created on the island. 

Viking raids, recorded from 793, eventually forced the monks to flee in the late ninth century.  Nearly 250 years later a religious community from Durham Cathedral came to Holy Isalnd and built a new priory, which remained in religious use until 1537, the ruins of this building can be seen today.  The stones from the priory were used to build the Lindisfarne Castle in 1550 when it became apparent that a defensive position against the Scots was needed.

On the island, we meet a resident artist who taught us how to weave.

Richard Betteridge and Cateryn Eternally Joined (Sealed) after 486 Years

Our stake president's mother, Sister Jane Gill told us that we were related-- she had seen an Elyn Betteridge, born in 1500, in her ancestry.  While looking for  a possible connection to Elder Betteridge's ancestry we discovered a Richard Betteridge, Elder Betteridge's 12th great grandfather, born in 1515 only 95 miles from Elyn.  This was the furthest back the Betteridge name research had been done on Elder Betteridge's family line.  We then discovered that Richard Betteridge had not been sealed to his spouse Cateryn.  We quickly made plans to attend the Preston temple and perform this ordinance for them-- 486 years is a long time to wait.  As we joined hands across the alter we felt the presence of this couple kneeling by us as this ordinance was performed vicariously for them, there were few dry eyes in the room-- it was an electrifying experience full of emotion.  We continue to get confirmation why we were called to this corner of England and to be in the Sunderland stake. 

We also had the opportunity to assist the Alnwick branch with their Temple Baptistry appointment.  

Imparting the Word to the Amble Group

Today we spoke in the Amble group meeting. Although Amble is part of the Alnwick branch, the 20 or so members that live in this small town do not have transportation to get to the Alnwick chapel on Sundays, a 20-30 minute drive, so President James Perry received permission from President Gill to hold a group meeting to administer the Sacrament for these members once per month.  Sister Betteridge shared a message about spiritual nourishment and Elder Betteridge shared a message about preparation.